Uncategorized – Page 37 – 10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live

Reason #6,715: Entreat for what?

Seriously. Leave them alone.

Reason #9,479: The green light across the bay.

In Theros, this is what you find if you follow the light on the far side of the bay. I told you it wasn’t worth it, Gatsby. Those things in the foreground? Think those might be corpses.

Reason #9,064: Sorry, rabbit. You were born in the wrong multiverse.

This is a cottontail rabbit, native to the Americas. Looks pretty normal. Seems healthy, no visible wounds or obvious illnesses. Doesn’t look malnourished. I think we can agree this rabbit is probably doing well enough for a rabbit, right? This is a rabbit from the MTG Multiverse plane of Dominaria. This rabbit has opposable digits. …

Continue reading “Reason #9,064: Sorry, rabbit. You were born in the wrong multiverse.”

Reason #5,863: Look. Another zombie. His name is Haakon.

Definitely didn’t have enough zombies in my life. Sure glad you came along, Haakon.

Reason #422: This can happen to you on the plane of Eldraine.

For all you thrill-seekers out there.

Reason #7,551: Why is this island floating?

Um. Zendikar? What did you do to physics? Something’s not right here.

Reason 7,334: Stay out of the sewers. Stay out of Ravnica.

Ravnica. Listen. You have a problem here. There are terrors and nightmares in your sewers. Is that a squid? Why are we even still talking about your sewers? Get your act together, Ravnica! Come on!

Reason #6,629: The thief of crowns

Meet Oko. On Magic’s digital platform, MTG Arena, whenever Oko creates a food token, he says, “It’s not poisoned. Trust me.” Hold on, Oko. Who said anything about poison? I didn’t say anything about poison. Why are we talking about poison, Oko? Should I be concerned? SHOULD I BE CONCERNED?

Reason #8,008: This guy looks legit.

“I was raised to be charming, not sincere.” – Prince Charming, Into the Woods

Reason #1,118: Field of the Dead

Hey! You! Stop that. You stay in there! Don’t you come out; stay down there. Nope. NOPE! NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!