Was this one of them? Cause I get the impression this one probably isn’t looking to preserve the well-being of others. Also, it’s still not a god. Also, your gods are still lame.
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Reason #64: An armpit seems like a really bad place for a mouth.
Sorry, I meant face. That’s a whole face under there. Can’t say I’ve ever run into anyone in my world with a face in their armpit. Maybe you have, I don’t know. Feel kind of bad for this guy. If I had a face in my armpit, I don’t think I’d be very happy about …
Continue reading “Reason #64: An armpit seems like a really bad place for a mouth.”
Reason #7,732: Destructible
So, something about this character really stands out to me. Can you guess what it is? Here’s a hint: all the other Kaldheim gods share this same characteristic. That’s right. He doesn’t have the “indestructible” keyword in his playtext. You know what that means in lore terms? The gods of Kaldheim can die. I can’t …
Reason #8,345: Cleansing 3.0
How many ways do you really need for glassing the multiverse? I mean really?
Reason #5,581: Things that live in caves
NOPE
Reason #5,580: Not tempting
Do you want to go in there? I don’t want to go in there. Can’t say I see the appeal, and the odds of violent and painful death seem unreasonably high, considering where we are. Oh, those yellow bands are seams of gold? Probably magical gold that will melt your flesh off. You go in, …
Reason #2,914: Another place I don’t want to live
Or be anywhere near at all. Yikes. It’s like the MTG Multiverse is a giant magnet for crazy junk like this, especially locations with higher populations.
Reason #7,731: Regression
Let me get this straight. We’re worshiping angels now? You do realize that’s a step DOWN from gods, right? And just to remind you, the gods around here are pretty terrible. Also, they’re weak; they can’t planeswalk. And you’re telling me that you want to worship something LOWER in the order of creation. Were the …
Reason #2,807: Molten Dawn
How?
Reason #6,412: Blight
Is it just me, or do those look like bones? Like, a literal skeletal forest. Maybe they’re just shadows. Right? Sure… … You can’t unsee it now.
10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live 