It’s a troll. Please don’t wake it up.
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Reason #6,509: Location, Location, Location
I have a feeling the Thran never heard of Harold Samuel. Cause this doesn’t look like a great place to build a city. Maybe build it above the sulfur falls next time? Instead of under them?
Reason #1,869: An imminent conflagration
I’m looking at a lot of overgrowth here, and I’m also looking at some fires that are really started to get going. This place is about to get torched. Do you think the Gruul know how to do a controlled burn? If they do, do you think they’d ever actually do one? In fact, I’m …
Reason #2,101: There goes the neighborhood
I think that “calamity” is something to which I do not want to be in close proximity. This seems like an obvious question, but does anyone want to be living in Bretagard while something like this is going on? I sure don’t. I imagine the people of Bretagard probably wouldn’t have been too keen on …
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Reason #6,859: The unappeasable thing that devours blood
That goat, I bet he wishes he lived on a different plane. Or he would if he could. But he can’t. He’s dead.
Reason #5,512: Aether Portals
That eye there: that’s the eye of confusion. Whatever that thing is, it looks like it doesn’t know where or when it’s been. What is wrong with this place? These portals can displace you in space OR time if you get sucked into one. And they’re just floating across the Mirrodin’s surface. Imagine you’re at …
Reason #409: Giant holes
You know what, Iskene? I could not have said it better myself. By the way, would you like to come live in my multiverse? I think you might be more comfortable here. No pressure. Consider it an open invitation.
Reason #7,110: Smallpox
According to the WHO, roughly 3 in 10 people who contracted smallpox died from it. Those who survived often experienced significant lasting effects, such as scarring or blindness. In 1798, Edward Jenner developed an inoculation technique for treating smallpox; estimates suggest there were still some 50 million cases annually every year on a global basis …
Reason #1,931: His axe is on fire.
Shoot him in the head. Seriously, I don’t want to get hit by that. It’s made of lava. I could go to Home Depot and buy an axe and make it burn, but Home Depot doesn’t sell axes made of actual lava. At least this dude’s wearing a glove on his throwing hand. That seems …
Reason #3,770: There goes the sun.
They blot out the sun. For five days. And they yell the entire time. I gotta ask: why in the world did Nicol Bolas want to conquer this plane? This place is stupid. Why would anyone want to live here? Ravnica is stupid! Nicol Bolas is stupid! This whole stupid multiverse is stupid! … I’m …
10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live 